my so-called life

i'm going to go ahead & steal a gem from a review i once read for this one.

if you don't like my so-called life, then i don't like you. seriously.

premiering four years after beverly hills: 90210 blew away the world by openly discussing topics such as sex, racism, drugs, & rape, & four years before dawson's creek shocked everyone with affairs with teachers & teenage sluts (think about that for a moment...when angela chase was 15, dawson was 11. ELEVEN!), my so-called life certainly lacks the controversial nature of other shows geared toward teenagers in the 90s. i mean, imagine this: angela DOESN'T sleep with jordan when he propositions her. whoa.

but what it lacked in the Controversial Department, it certainly made up for in the Realism Department.

my so-called life is the only (not first, or best, but only) show that accurately depicts teenage emotions & the torment that is high school. naturally, not everyone can relate to angela chase. she's miserable, depressed, EPICALLY unhappy, & it's utterly painful to watch her do anything or say a single word. this was certainly not everyone's high school experience.

BUT IT WAS MINE.

angela chase, you are me. you would have understood how i felt in high school. we could have listened to the cranberries in our rooms TOGETHER. we could have dyed our hair red TOGETHER (& oh, how i ached for her hair when i was 15). we could have giggled & obsessed about jordan catalano TOGETHER (i love how he, like, LEANS). we could have just, you know, like, hung out TOGETHER. we would have found solace in each other's misery.

but alas, the world at large couldn't fully grasp what angela chase was all about (much like how i felt it couldn't understand me when i was 15) & the show was cancelled after only one season. but oh boy, what a doozy of a season.

was my so-called life just too REAL for society? too ahead of it's time? like i said, despite the major gay character & a little adultery, my so-called life isn't terribly controversial. it's not the sex & drugs that got this one cancelled; it's the misery. the world at large simply just did not want to know what it feels like to be an unhappy teenager. it's easy to pretend that your teens are happy & enjoying life. it's much harder to know that they hate everything & would really rather not exist (as angela puts it, "you know what i'd really like? to be put out of my misery."). could society really just not deal with knowing what life was REALLY like for teenagers in the 90s?

let's consider the options. on season one, disc one of my-so called life, rickie is tormented for being bisexual. angela deals with the after effects of a nasty (& untrue) rumour that she slept with jordan. then, she has to deal with him telling her that, because of the rumour, she may as well sleep with him. THEN, she has to deal with him telling her that he doesn't have any actual interest in her at all. (epic). rayanne gets wasted & is escorted home by a police officer. brian (oh brian krakow...jordan may be a fox, but you always won my heart in the end) is continually made fun of, put down, & teased for being a brain. sharon is so angry at angela for dropping their friendship that she won't even set foot in the chase household. NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE HAPPY. they are all very, very, very unhappy.

at least in beverly hills: 90210, the characters would eventually learn to turn their smiles upside down by the end of an episode or two (even when faced with drug addictions & rape attempts). on dawson's creek, dawson would over-analyze everything until it didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore & he would figure out a solution to any problem. on my so-called life, however, even lasting ONE day at school was nearly too much for angela chase to bear.

& yes, i think that's a reality that society did not want to face.

which is sad, because really, in angela chase, i've always found a kindred spirit. & that last episode...(is it cheating if i discuss things not on the first disc? ok, probably. so i'll leave it vague)...that last episode man, is heartbreaking. & sadly, i'll never know what happens after that last moment between angela & brian. & that breaks my heart.

i miss angela. i wish that we had been able to have more time together.

instead, i've got to cherish what little time i DO have with her. season one, disc 2? disc 3? disc 4? yes. i salute you, angela chase, for showing the world what being a teenager is REALLY like.

& really, i agree with you, "can't people just cheer on their own? like, to themselves?" the world would be a better place if society had opened their ears to what angela chase had to offer.